Save the Beaches©2011 Lynn Rebuck

Thursday, August 4th, 2011

Each year tons of sand disappears from American beaches.  I’m pretty sure my family is responsible for removing most of it.  I don’t know about you, but I’m always surprised there is still sand on the beach when we leave.

If you ask me, this family-made erosion is a serious problem that needs to be addressed.  The mid-Atlantic coastline is eroding at the rate of one-half meter per year thanks to our kids not knowing how to shake out a beach towel. Am I the only one walking around with a “Save the Beaches” bumper sticker covering my bikini cellulite?

When we’re at the beach, we’re used to having sand everywhere—sand in your sandwich, sand in your sandals, sand in your thousand island dressing. Instead of topping your slice of Mack & Manco’s pizza with parmesan, you top it with the new cheese/sand blend, parmesand. It makes for a crunchy meal, but hey, it’s the shore after all. We just accept that it’s part of the vacation.

But you don’t want the beach to follow you home.

I knew we were in trouble when we stopped at the first rest area on the parkway.  When my daughter opened the car door sand poured out of the backseat.

There was so much sand in the car I expected to see Brendan Fraser chasing mummies at any moment.

It turns out that we brought back enough sand to start our own beach.

Don’t get me wrong, I love the sand.  And the beach without sand would just be a long wave pool.  It wouldn’t be as fun.  There’d be no sand castles, no place to bury siblings, and no place to search for buried treasure (I really did bury a chest for my kids to dig up one year, complete with treasure map).

When we got back home I found sand in things that never even got near the beach. How does this happen?

I donated a sand trap to the local golf course. I overfilled the litter box. And I still had sand left over.  So I looked into other options.

I learned that there is a process that restores sand to eroded beaches called beach nourishment.  According to the an online research database, in the year 2000, Ocean City, New Jersey placed 1,351,000 cubic yards of sand back onto beaches at significant expense to the Federal government.  The price tag?  $6,943,000.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? I know how I’m going to earn some extra money this summer. Maybe I’ll earn enough to buy a new swimsuit. One without sand in it, that is.

Lynn Rebuck is a national award-winning humor columnist and speaker whose column appears weekly in print, online, and on Amazon Kindle Blogs.  She is the proud owner of a collection of Ocean City beach tags.  Read her blog at www.LynnRebuck.com her at Lynn@LynnRebuck.com, fan her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter. © 2011 Lynn Rebuck.

Tags: Beach, beach nourishment, beach renourishment, erosion, family, fun, humor, Kids, ocean, Ocean City, sand, sand castles, Summer, Vacation
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