Posts Tagged ‘Obama’
|The Price of Rights©2011 Lynn Rebuck
Wednesday, February 16th, 2011
President Obama released the 2011 federal budget this week. I don’t know about you, but whenever I hear the new budget figures they always make me feel better about my own personal spending.
The new budget calls for $ 3.73 trillion in spending during the coming fiscal year alone. That’s just slightly less than House Speaker John Boehner spends on tanning supplies. The tawny Speaker of the House is known for breaking into tears in public. When the budget was delivered President Obama started to cry.
One conservative online news source says that If Obama’s budget is implemented it is estimated that it will double the national debt to $ 26.3 trillion by 2021.
I won’t say the situation is bad but earlier in the day Treasury Secretary Timothy Giethner was seen standing outside the United Nations holding a placard that said “Brother, can you spare a trillion?” Rumor has it that he recently tried to get a home equity loan on the White House.
When Obama campaigned for the presidency he promised change. He didn’t make it clear that’s what he’d expect us to live on.
The 2011 federal budget is document is thousands of pages long and it cost a lot of money to print. Obama proposed that in order to reduce spending we should eliminate the budget. Instead of printing it he proposed just tweeting the highlights.
Obama unveiled his budget Monday at a middle school in Baltimore. When the students saw the size of the budget book they panicked. They thought they were going to have to carry it home in their backpacks.
The proposed budget reduces spending for the arts. Apparently the President thinks there’s already enough drama on Capitol Hill. Republicans have their own ideas about what to trim from the budget. They want to eliminate all health care for Democrats. And if that isn’t enough, they suggested eliminating all Democrats from the government.
How about that ticket fiasco at the Super Bowl? Over two thousand fans were reportedly denied access to their seats because they were unsafe. If you ask me, those seats should have been reserved for Toyota executives.
When Democratic members of Congress heard on the news Sunday that many people were losing their seats they panicked and contacted their campaign directors. The NFL is trying to make things right with the ticketholders. They’ve reportedly offered them triple the price of their ticket, guaranteed seats for next year’s Super Bowl, and singing lessons from Christina Aguilera.
Lynn Rebuck is an award-winning humor columnist whose column appears weekly in print, online, and on Amazon Kindle. Her 2011 proposed budget for the upcoming fiscal year includes appropriations for the arts, humanities, and tickets to the 2012 Super Bowl to watch her favorite team compete. Email her at Lynn@LynnRebuck.com, follow her on Twitter and fan her on Facebook. © 2011 Lynn Rebuck
Tags: Aguilera, Boehner, Capitol, Congress, Federal Budget, Geithner, government, humor, Obama, politics, spending, Super Bowl, treasury, United Nations
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Egypt’s Social Network Unrest ©2011 Lynn Rebuck
Tuesday, February 1st, 2011
All of the major news outlets have been waiting for the top three world leaders to weigh in on the attempt to ouster the Egyptian president: President Obama, British Prime Minister David Cameron, and blogger Arianna Huffington.
The US hasn’t officially recommended that Mubarak leave Egypt, but he’s the first head of state that they’ve placed on the “Must-Fly” list.
Mubarak is eighty-two years old. Whenever he comes to the United States for a visit John McCain likes to stand next to him to look younger. Sen. McCain said that in this situation the U.S. needs to “be on the right side of history.” McCain should know history…he’s been around for most of it. And he’s usually on the right.
Vice President Joe Biden seemed a bit uninformed about the uprising in Egypt. When they asked him what he thought of Hosni Mubarak, Biden said he’s one of his favorite Steeler’s players.
Mubarak was vice president before he became president in 1981, and he’s been president for thirty years. Joe Biden idolizes the guy. He just put up a poster of Hosni over his bed.
Elections have been held every ten years in Egypt since Mubarak took office but by law no other candidates were ever allowed to appear on the ballot in opposition to him. Obama’s trying to see if he can get the same deal here for the 2012 election.
Apparently the uprising in Egypt was facilitated by the use of social media like Facebook and Twitter. What most people don’t know is that protests started after Mubarak posted a YouTube video of himself doing a Jedi light saber routine in his garage.
In an effort to quell the uprising, the Egyptian government has reportedly blocked the use of Facebook and Twitter. As a result the country now has a more urgent crisis—74 million Farkle addicts in withdrawal.
After days of protests Mubarak made concessions to try to appease protestors. He added a vice president, a prime minister, and Paula Abdul.
Despite worldwide pressure Mubarak has yet to leave the country. Apparently he still has time left on his cell phone contract. You know how those two-year plans are. And he’s been busy defriending 74 million people on Facebook.
Hillary Clinton was (more…)
Tags: Cameron, Clinton, Egypt, Huffington, humor, Mubarak, Obama, politics, Steelers, uprising
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Why I Want to Be the First Woman on the Moon © 2010 Lynn Rebuck
Wednesday, April 21st, 2010
Neil Armstrong isn’t happy.
You may remember Armstrong as the first astronaut to land on the moon, not to be confused with Buzz Aldrin, the first astronaut to land on “Dancing with the Stars.”
Armstrong is reportedly unhappy with President Obama’s flight plan for NASA, our national body that administers the exploration of heavenly bodies.
Last week, while many of us were sending off checks with our IRS 1040 Forms to fund government exploration of space, President Obama held a press conference at the Kennedy Space Center in Florida regarding the future of the space program.
In an open letter reportedly obtained by major news outlets and signed by Armstrong and two other Apollo astronauts, James Lovell and Gene Cernan, Obama’s plan is (more…)
Tags: Aldrin, Apollo, Armstrong, funny, humor, Kennedy, NASA, News, Obama, Orbitz, politics, Project Runway, Space, Television, Toyota, Travel, Travelocity
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